Planning a wedding in 48 hours

Isn’t it ironic that the wedding planner’s wedding was cancelled due to Omicron. Or should I say, I decided to cancel our original wedding. The wedding was scheduled for Thursday, December 23, 2021. The venue was meant to be Shun Lee. It was an over the top event – black tie disco, an “Erev Christmas Eve Party” we were calling it – at our favorite Chinese restaurant, Shun Lee. RSVPs were done, day of stationary was packed in the car, as was all of the bathroom baskets, soaps, party favors, etc.

The weekend before the wedding can only be described as reminiscent of March 2020. Suddenly it was next to impossible to get a covid test (and we were requiring them for guests), the lines were out of control, and the covid rates in NYC were at an all time high. We had been receiving guest cancellation after cancellation…

All weekend I had no sleep. I kept calling both sides of parents with the question, “what do we do…”. I’m a wedding planner, so the fact is, whatever I decide weighs on me that much more. I have to show clients that the show must go on, but how can I do that with such a large risk that our event could be a super spreader…that our great uncle and immunocompromised guests are coming. It felt like a lot of pressure. It didn’t feel right.

Finally, on Monday – the week of the wedding, I spoke to the manager at Shun Lee who offered a full refund and that’s when I called it. I decided to (hopefully) postpone the Shun Lee event and go on with the wedding on December 23, this time cutting the guest list to an intimate size, and moving the party to my parent’s house in Westchester.

When you’re a wedding planner, you’re just really good at acting under pressure, regardless of emotions and stress. I was stressed, beyond stressed…but I had to plan a wedding and at this point, its Monday night and the wedding is Thursday. My husband described these next two days like I was Rocky and he was my trainer feeding me water from the corner. It was go time, full hustle mode, and he was supporting me every step of the way.

I decided to come up with the list, which included immediate family, some cousins and best friends – a group of 35. We then emailed the guests to invite them, cancelled on the original guests and I’d say the best decision we made was deciding to keep the wedding Black Tie Disco. I was wearing a Naeem Khan beaded jumpsuit – you better believe, I was not going to let it go to waste so the theme prevailed.

We hired a caterer, picked out rentals, came up with a floorplan and a way to make the house work with chuppah, ceremony, cocktails and reception, and tried to keep the vendors in the know as plans evolved. We printed new menus and reworked the florals, and somehow – it all came together.

When you have a good team and you work with the right vendors, magic happens. The best part of the wedding industry is the friend-vendors (friendors) you make along the way. And while there was one vendor who made us miserably stressed over the finances and I’m not quite over that one, all other vendors bent over backwards to accommodate the last minute plans.

After the most fun morning of doing hair and makeup with my sisters and girlfriends, all while in my parent’s bedroom/bathroom, thirty-five guests arrived. There was no magical entrance of the bride – we did our first look and family portraits as guests were greeted with champagne. Then we signed the ketubah in my parent’s dining room. We got married in my parent’s living room, the chuppah in front of the fireplace, with a mish mosh of rental chairs and existing furniture. Cocktail hour was in the foyer and dining room and then we moved into the solarium for dinner. We had all the original speeches as planned and then we cut our cake (which was prepared for 200 people) and had an impromptu dance party in the living room…all while dressed to the nines, in our sequins and shimmer. It had a Gatsby feel to it – drinks were flowing, service from the caterer was impeccable, and the house was just the perfect venue.  

Everyone who was there brought so much love and high energy. Omicron had depleted the city that week, but you would never have known it on December 23, 2021. The love that surrounded me and my new husband is something I’ll never forget.  

We might plan a party at Shun Lee in the future – we might not. We’re feeling really fulfilled and we’re keeping all options open. Covid taught us the importance of family, and that we have to work with what we’ve got. The week of December 23, NYC shut down, and we had to lean into that and make lemonade from lemons.

Sometimes, being a planner is realizing that your plans just aren’t going to work out. From day one, my husband and I said we’re getting married on December 23, regardless of what happens with covid. And that we did.

Photography By: Katie Osgood

WTF do I do now? Planning in a never-ending pandemic.

So you rescheduled your wedding once. Now twice. Now we’re about to get to 2021 and we have no idea where the world will be. I’ve been speaking to tons of couples who ask questions like, “what do I do”, “will I be able to have a March or April wedding...” etc. The truth is, no one knows where the world will be tomorrow, in 6 months, or next year. We all thought we’d be done with all of this nonsense by now.

When thinking about what to do (cancel, postpone again, microwedding, elope, etc)…a few things come into play. First is obvious: your life. Do you and your fiance have life plans (ie: kids, house, financial obligations, you get the idea…) that are contingent on your being married? If you want to get married, do it. Elope. Plan a microwedding. Make it happen.

But, if you don’t “need” or “want” to be married without the reception and the hooplah then don’t. Wait it out. All of you that can’t imagine a wedding without the horah, without father-daughter dances, without a dance floor, I’m talking to you. If you are not willing to budge on guest count and wedding style, you’re going to have to postpone until the time is right.

That being said, I have to get something off my chest. Microweddings are AMAZING. Beautiful. Meaningful. Imagine having all of your BEST people in one room. Not one person was on your B list, or the annoying cousin your mom forced you to invite.

With microweddings, you get to spend your budget more uniquely and thoughtfully - do a chef’s tasting menu for dinner, or do an elaborate floral entrance, splurge on the photographer of your dreams, etc.

Then, you can STILL do the big hooplah reception for your five year anniversary. Everyone will still want to do the horah, and the dancing and party. Believe me. We all love a good excuse to hit the dance floor and party. And we’ll be making up for lost time.

So, to summarize: figure out what your non negotiables are - what you’re NOT willing to budge on. Perhaps its the date, perhaps its the guest count, perhaps its the venue, or anything else. And you’ll plan around that. Or, contact us for a one hour planning session and we’ll talk through it together (like what we did there)? Sorry, it was such an easy pitch.

xx,

Elizabeth